Years 3–4 · Module 4 · Facilitator preview

Handling disagreement and repairing relationships

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Plan and model

Learning intention: Use respectful disagreement words and offer a practical repair.

Duration: 40 minutes. Recognise 5 min • Think 5 min • Lead 5 min • Rehearse 10 min • Reflect 5 min • Transfer 5–10 min. Extend or split the lesson to suit access needs.

Preparation: Read the scenario and facilitator notes. Prepare paper, pencils and a visible pause card. Identify the school’s trusted adults and reporting process. Offer a quiet space and accessible response cards. No student accounts, microphones or recordings are needed.

Observable success criteria

Explain the trigger: A shared pencil is taken and a page is damaged.
Demonstrate or describe one safe pause strategy.
Consider another possible perspective: Both wanted the pencil. The damaged page needs attention, not blame about who felt more upset.
Rehearse respectful words through speech, writing, drawing or a supported response.
Name an appropriate trusted adult and explain when help is needed.

Teacher explanation

Separate disagreement from personal attacks; repair impact without demanding forgiveness.

Model aloud or in writing

I took the pencil and your page tore. I can return it and help find new paper. An apology does not mean you must forgive me right away.

Facilitate safely and flexibly

Co-regulate first: offer calm company, time and a predictable next step. Ask which support helps; do not insist on breathing, eye contact, stillness or speaking. Quietness and compliance are not evidence of regulation. Allow movement, sensory supports, extra processing time and teacher-scribed or visual responses. Never infer a feeling from behaviour alone.

Use fictional situations only. Students may observe, pass, draw, point or write instead of speaking. Do not ask for personal incidents, names or private messages. For bullying or unsafe situations, involve a trusted adult and follow school procedures; children are not responsible for resolving them.

Guided feedback

Ask what each response could change and when it might not work. Say: “That feeling makes sense. Let’s consider an action that protects people.” Explain consequences without labelling a student or imposing one feeling.

Assessment and family discussion

Use the five-skill rubric during rehearsal and the new-context task. Note the support provided and the demonstrated action. A passed or observed task is not evidence of inability. Record “not observed” until suitable evidence is available.

Optional home prompt: Use a made-up disagreement over a toy. Practise naming the problem and offering a repair; allow time apart.

Years 3–4 · Teacher-led learning

Handling disagreement and repairing relationships

Two fictional students want the same coloured pencil. One snatches it, and the other’s page tears.

Recognise → Think → Lead → Rehearse → Reflect → Transfer. All scenarios are fictional. Observe, pass, draw, write or speak; no personal disclosure or recording is needed.

Observable learning rubric

Use the response mode that works for the learner. “Not observed” is not a low rating. Completion is recorded separately; this rubric does not assess personality, compliance or mental health.

Five skills and four levels of demonstrated learning
Skill	Requires modelling	Demonstrates with support	Demonstrates independently	Applies and explains in a new context
Identify a trigger	Recognises a trigger after the teacher names it.	Identifies the event with a prompt or picture.	Identifies the event without prompting.	Identifies and explains a trigger in a different scenario.
Demonstrate a regulation strategy	Observes a modelled safe strategy.	Uses a strategy with prompts or co-regulation.	Selects and demonstrates a safe strategy.	Adapts a strategy and explains why it fits a new context.
Consider another perspective	Observes a model of another perspective.	Suggests a possible perspective with a prompt.	Considers another perspective without assuming feelings.	Explains how different perspectives affect a new response.
Rehearse respectful communication	Observes teacher-modelled words or actions.	Rehearses words, writing or visuals with support.	Rehearses respectful communication independently.	Adapts communication and explains its likely impact.
Identify appropriate help	Observes an adult help request.	Names suitable help with a prompt.	Names appropriate help and rehearses a request.	Explains when and how to seek help again in a new context.

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